Republican Economic Tantrum

If you read conservative blogs, as I do, you will see the same phrase over and over in comments: "Just Blow It Up." The meaning is quite simple, if they can't own the country they intend to destroy it.

Boehner and the other House Republicans have abandoned any pretense of negotiating or even voting on any legislation whatsoever involving budget, taxes, or debt. Boehner refuses to bring anything to a vote unless it has unanimous Republican support, an impossible goal given the radical wing of the caucus.

It is exactly like the petulant child who grabs the ball and runs home in tears because the other kids won't let him be quarterback. House Republicans have run home and are now hiding in their bedrooms pouting. 

It is their intention, as far as people this infantile can have intentions, is to punish the country for being mean and not electing them to everything. If the economy craters, they believe, it is exactly what we deserve for being such doodyheads.

If President Obama is the nation's father figure then the House of Representatives is the bratty little brother who ruins every Christmas by throwing a temper tantrum.

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Romney's Sour Grapes

Driven by hunger, a fox tried to reach some grapes hanging high on the vine but was unable to, although he leaped with all his strength. As he went away, the fox remarked, 'Oh, you aren't even ripe yet! I don't need any sour grapes.' People who speak disparagingly of things that they cannot attain would do well to apply this story to themselves. ~ Aesop, The Fox and the Grapes

Tagg Romney, Mitt's kid, is now saying that Mitt didn't really want to be President.  It is a pathetic, childish, reaction to losing. Frankly, I'd be terrified if I had any money invested with such an immature venture capitalist.

The truth is that nobody spends six years of his life doing nothing but campaigning for an office he doesn't want. Mitt wanted to be President, just not as much as some other members of the Romney Clan.

Ann Romney had convinced herself that her husband was on a mission from God to fulfill Mormon prophecy. Ann struck me as a Lady Macbeth (without the knife) relentlessly pushing her husband to make himself king so she could be a queen.

Tagg Romney saw the riches he could make by marketing his investment firm's connections to the White House. It doesn't take much listening to Tagg to hear the unbridled greed oozing from every slimy syllable.

George Romney's Ghost had been in the background of every one of Mitt's many, mostly failed, campaigns. George's ghost constantly hovered over Mitt's shoulder, an oppressive and depressing burden on Mitt. George's ghost was always there reminding Mitt how bitterly disappointed the father was with his son.

Mitt desperately wanted to be President - albeit to quiet his shrew of a wife, to satisfy his pig of a son, and to stop the spectral whispers in his ear saying, "Can't you do anything right, boy?"

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Inside the Mind of Wayne LaPierre

His mind is a scary place to visit but here is what the head of the NRA was thinking during his presser.

"The NRA has refrained from comment..."
(Until we could design a forum with the proper tone of death and foreboding.)
----
"The truth is that our society is populated by an unknown number of genuine monsters....They walk among us every day."
(I know this because I see them all the time in our NRA offices and, let me tell you, they are some scary dudes.)
----
"There exists in this country a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells, and sows, violence against its own people."
(Remember to visit the NRA store where you can buy everything from 50-caliber bottle openers to NRA baby bibs. And, brand new, we're selling a handgunner's backpack that allows you to easily carry enough weapons and ammo to quickly kill dozens of people. As our website says, we promise it will "heighten your efficiency and increase your enjoyment.")
----
"Then there's the blood-soaked slasher films like 'American Psycho' and 'Natural Born Killers.'"(Natural Born Killers was produced by Jane Hamsher so it's more evil than all those blood-soaked Clint Eastwood films.)
----
"I call on Congress today to act immediately, to appropriate whatever is necessary to put armed police officers in every school."
(There are almost 100,000 schools in the United States so we are talking about creating a new federal force seven times larger than FBI and ATF armed agents, combined. Given my opinion of federal "jack-booted thugs," I plan to oppose this idea if it ever actually is introduced in Congress.)

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Wow! The Mayan Apocalypse Happened!

The Mayans got it right. Sure, the whole world didn't end. But the world occupied by a single orange-faced cry baby did end right on schedule.

House Speaker John Boehner concocted an absurdly unworkable tax "Plan B" and when he tried to get the Republican caucus to swallow it they spit it back in his face.

Properly limited, watching an apocalypse unfurl is quite entertaining.

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Republican Utopia

When Republicans dream of a perfect nation this is what they see.

A Country Where Guns Are Everywhere and the Government Is Weak

Mogadishu, Somalia

A Country Where God Is Made Central to Everything

The Army of Heaven in Tehran, Iran

A Country Where the 'Homosexual Agenda' Is Defeated

Pink Triangle (homosexual) inmates, Buchenwald Concentration Camp

A Country Where the Wealthy Are Not Oppressed

The Billionaire Store in Moscow, Russia

A Country Where Women's Reproductive Organs Are Controlled by the State

Republic of Gilead, The Handmaid's Tale

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According to Conservatives

This is what the modern kindergarten teacher ought to look like.

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A Modest Proposal Regarding Guns

Conservatives love the Originalist interpretation of the Constitution as expressed by Antonin Scalia which believes the Constitution should be interpreted only as the original authors would have understood it. With that in mind here is how the Second Amendment ought to be enforced.

Absolutely Allowed Weapons
All these conditions must be met.

• Must have a flintlock firing mechanism.
• Must be muzzle loading only.
• Must be single-shot only with no magazine.
• No rifling on any barrel shorter than three feet long.
• Reloading time must take at least 30 seconds when done by an expert.

Weapons allowed by the Second Amendment:
Bows, knives, and other non-fire arms.
Kentucky long rifle
Musket
Blunderbuss

This is a blunderbuss.

Weapons Absolutely Forbidden With No Exceptions

A Glock with extension can hold 27 rounds.

• Magazine exceeding six bullets.
• Shotguns with a magazine of any size.
• Nuclear bombs, anti-aircraft missiles, RPG, other military-grade weapons.
• Any bullet designed to expand on impact (dumdum bullet).
• Any bullet designed to penetrate body armor (cop killer bullet).

Between these two extremes are weapons allowed as part of a "well regulated militia."  Such weapons may only be owned by active members of state authorized militias. Members must present all weapons monthly for inspection. Weapons may not be sold, gifted, or otherwise transferred to another party. Upon retirement the weapon is returned to the state armory. Possession of a firearm outside of a state authorized "well regulated militia" is a felony. Obviously, law enforcement and the regular military are excepted.

I'm not a fool. This utopia will never happen. There are millions of American gun owners who would happily sacrifice their wives and children, even their own lives, before giving up a single one of their precious guns. The demons have been released from Pandora's gun box and there is no hope remaining to balance the misery.

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