Not So Secret Service

The Secret Service loves its reputation as the hard-bodied, sunglass and ear-thingy wearing protectors of presidents. They love their name which sounds like a super sexy spy agency when their job is mostly rooting around cheap bars looking for counterfeit twenties.

(How did the fake money squad of government get a really neat name like "Secret Service" when the really secret guys have to make do with leftover alphabet soup?)

Even their scandal is stupid. They didn't get caught because they stole some of the fake money they confiscate (although you totally know they do that). They didn't even get caught because they drunkenly caroused with Colombian prostitutes (although they totally did that too). No no no.

Colombian prostitutes, I imagine.

The US Secret Service got caught because after drunkenly carousing with Colombian prostitutes they refused to pay for the service. They got caught because they were cheap johns.

That would never happen if Ronald Reagan were president.