Republicans Going to the Dogs

Have you ever seen feral pack of dogs being led by its smallest member? Some overactive Jack Russell intimidating a pack including a pitbull that could, were it so inclined, eat the terrier in four bites? Or a pack where an 80 pound German Shepard is cowering in terror from the yipping of four pounds of chihuahua named Buttons?

That's what the House Republican caucus reminds me of. The handful of Tea Partiers most closely resemble the droogs from A Clockwork Orange. These anarchists have John Boehner repeatedly peeing himself in servile terror. If Boehner thought it would sate their bloodlust even for a moment I've no doubt he would give over his two daughters for the mad pack to tear to pieces.

Past Speakers, think Sam Rayburn, would discipline rebellious backbenchers by assigning them broom closets in the sub-basement for offices and putting them on only the sub-committee for Litter Abatement. Any bill they sponsored would disappear without a vote and appropriations for their districts would be scarcer than bacon at a Muslim hunger strike.

But in the 113th Congress the whelps are running the pack.