In Defense of Mitt Romney

No, I'm not insane and I'm not defending the Mittster. But, I have been reading RedState looking for what rock-ribbed conservatives are saying in defense of Romney when he was attacked by Erick Erickson (here and here if you must) and I've got to say it's lame.


Romney Is Better than a Stick in the Eye
The most common defense is acknowledging that he is a lousy candidate who they dislike and disagree with but that there is no better alternative. Their best defense is "We gotta settle."

Shut Up and Bend Over
Next most common is for Romney supporters to defend nothing and tell their fellow Republicans that Romney will be the nominee and they should stop complaining and take it up the ass like the loser pussies they are.

Stop Being So Mean
There is also a large number of passive Romney supporters who also don't defend their guy but squeak that attacking Mitt is just so very, very mean and they shouldn't be so mean because it's just mean.


Blame Ted Kennedy
Some Romney supporters claim that his pro-abortion, pro-gay, RomneyCare positions are all the fault of Massachusetts and he would have looked a lot more conservative had he lived somewhere else.

We Must Out Liberal Obama
Then there are those Republicans who accept Romney, flaws and all, and are are focused like a laser beam on defeating Obama and to do that they need independents and to win them they need a candidate who is just like Obama, except not.

The Fujimori Option
The last group say it is important to nominate a businessman. It doesn't matter what he believes in or if you agree with him because he will do businessman things in a business-like manner and that he'll be all business.